How to be Possessive

No, I don't mean latching onto your boyfriend so tight he can't go out of the house by himself.

Same for you, guys. Give the girl some breathing room, for goodness's sake. (Keep your eye on that last apostrophe, by the way.)

Now, we're talking possession in grammar--when something belongs to or is associated with something else:

• the lion's den
• the players' uniforms
• the children's playground

Generally we think of possessives as the "apostrophe s" rule: add an apostrophe and the letter s. But not all possessives use the apostrophe. Those that do, the big question is, where do you put the @&#$(*! thing?

Here are the rules (there really IS a logic to them):

1. SINGULAR nouns require "apostrophe s." Even if the noun ends in s.

• the girl's mother
• the kitten's claws
• Smith's car
• Mr. Jones's jammies (this makes sense because you actually say "Jones-ez jammies")
• goodness's sake (even though you only say "goodness sake")
  

2. PLURAL nouns that end in s take an apostrophe after the s.

• the players' uniforms (the uniforms of all the players)
• the shopkeepers' association (the association of all the shopkeepers)
• the streetlights' bulbs (the bulbs belonging to the streetlights)
• the Joneses' cars (the cars belonging to all the Joneses)
  

Now, what difference does it make, you say, whether I put the apostrophe before or after the s? Who cares?

Let's say you're an assistant for the Carolina Panthers . The coach scrawls you a note: "The player's uniforms need to be washed." (Provided the coach remembers to use an apostrophe.)

"Great," you think. "Which player?" Because "player's" clearly indicates only one guy's grimy duds have to go into the Kenmore.

But if the assistant coach--who went to UNCG, minored in English, and is a stickler for the rules--wrote, "The players' uniforms need to be washed," you would immediately pick up the shirts and pants of everyone from Jake Delhomme to Stephen Smith.

3. TRICKY RULE #1: PLURAL nouns that do NOT end in s require apostrophe s.

Most plural nouns in English end in s, but some very, very common ones do not.

• men--men's clothes
• women--women's shoes
• children--children's toys
• sheep--sheep's wool
• mice--mice's whiskers
• geese--geese's feathers

Many such words refer to living beings and are holdovers from Middle English. Just remember: apostrophe s.

4. TRICKY RULE #2: Possessive PRONOUNS never take an apostrophe. Never never never. EVER. Which, really, when you think about it, makes things simple.

• his
  
• hers
• mine
• yours
• ours
• theirs
• its
• whose
  

This is his house. The car is hers. The cats are yours; the dogs are mine. Where did you put ours? The mess is theirs. The cat lost its mouse. The man whose house this is lives in NY.

"But, Grammar Maven," I hear you protest, "what about it's? I see I-T-apostrophe-S all the time!! And how about who's?"

True dat. But it's has nothing to do with the possessive, students. It's a contraction that stands for "it is." Contractions use the apostrophe to indicate letters that have been left out: can't for cannot, won't for will not, isn't for is not, and so on. Any time you see "it's," just remember it is/it's a contraction and stands for "it is." "Who's" stands for "who is."

What's (what is) easier than that?

Happy possessing!

Your friendly neighborhood Grammar Maven